The Daily Background

For much of today, I was en route to my home state, New Hampshire. While at the airport security check-in, I noticed that there was a recorded announcement playing on loop every ten minutes or so. “Your attention please,” a voice that sounds like a game show announcer says. “The Department of Homeland Security has upgraded the threat level to… [dramatic pause] orange!” No explanation, no followup, no nothing. It sounds as if there’s some breaking news or some massive threat that everybody needs to be alerted of. And it plays every ten minutes in the security check-in area (yes, that means I was waiting for more than 10 minutes- what can you say, it’s O’Hare).

Actually, I understand it’s been playing like that for weeks. The whole security check-in process is designed not for safety, but to intimidate people. They warn you to take your liquids out because they might be confiscated. They never are. But everybody has their little ziploc baggies with shaving cream and shampoo in them just in case. Somehow I managed to smuggle toothpaste on the flight. Gosh. They make you take your shoes off, they make you take your jacket off, and in my case, they even make you take your hoodie that you were wearing underneath your jacket off. No sir, your shoes have to be in their own seperate plastic tub. They cannot just sit on top of your jacket in that other tub. Take your belt off. I’ve never had a problem with it before. Take it off. Everybody’s treated like a criminal.

And as long as I’m bringing up airport conspiracy theories, why do you think it is that they advise you to get to the airport 2-3 hours early? The plane is never going to take off 2-3 hours early. No. They just want you to spend more time in the airport. What possible good does an extra-crowded airport where people spend more time at do? It benefits all the businesses at the airport. The more time you spend there, the more likely it is that you’ll pay 2 dollars and 9 cents for a Coke at the little shop with the awning (why it has the awning is unclear, as it is indoors and will never get rained on). Anyways, normal posting will resume tomorrow.

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